Monkey Shuffle

A "dance" that amounts to little more than standing in one place, making erratic movements meant to be suggestive, which instead make you look like you are coming in your pants.

If a monkey were convinced to dance, but not taught how to, his movements would be similar to a person performing the monkey shuffle.

Shelly: Is he trying to impress us?
Candy: It looks like he's having sex with an invisible, vertical couch.
Shelly: Can the monkey shuffle really be that physically demanding that he should be sweating?
Candy: I'm expecting my dad to show up and join in.
Shelly: We should stop. I'm beginning to think he's actually... you know, mentally challenged.
Candy: Is that... Drool? Why won't he stop looking at us?
Shelly: Oh my god, Candy, we need to get out of here right now!
Candy: Let me get my purse!
Shelly: LEAVE IT! JUST LEAVE IT BEHIND!

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Mad Monkey Shuffle

Where you are masterbating, and know your going to get caught. So you try to finish off quickly to impress the person catching you.

Mother: I caught little Johnny doing the mad monkey shuffle today.
Father: <raises arms in air> STUD!

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Shuffle Monkey

The person given the arduous task of shuffling the playing cards between turns/games

Take these and do your job shuffle monkey

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