Morning Deuce Syndrome

Refers to the chronic inability to remain asleep in the early hours of the day due to awakening urges to deficate. Studies have shown that patients diagnoised with Morning Deuce Syndrome (MDS) suffer from loss of sleep and deficate on an irregular basis. The morning deuce often effects mental well being (depression) and can cause lack of energy throughout the rest of the day.

"I never get to sleep-in anymore. Everyday, really early in the morning I am woken up by the rumbling of a turd-muffin in my stomach and the call to deuce. The Doc says I've got Morning Deuce Syndrome."

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Morning Deuce Syndrome

Defecation immediately upon waking.

Morning Deuce Syndrome (MDS) is characterized by the following
symptoms: sharp abdominal pains, excessive flatulence and/or swamp
ass, and general irritability.

Dr. Marc Pierson, a world-renowned researcher from the Paris Institute
of Gastroenterology, offers the following advice for those suffering
from MDS: "Yeah, so I ran some tests and well, they came back
positive. It looks like you've got Morning Deuce Syndrome. The real
kicker is, you may never sleep in again."

Patients suffering from MDS often
retort: "I couldn't sleep in this morning.. a god damn deuce woke me
from my slumber."

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