Mr Anthony

Chuck Norris' Stronger Brother

Some random facts about Mr Anthony:

"Alien vs Predator" is an autobiographical depiction of Mr Anthony’s first sexual experience.

While Mr Anthony was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella causing him to take the largest shit known to man. That shit is now France.

Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Mr Anthony heads outside and brands his cattle.

Mr Anthony doesn't break up with his girlfriends... He gives them a detention to the face and they leave.

Mr Anthony had sex with a cigarette machine.

Mr Anthony once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Mr Anthony, because Mr Anthony killed that man.

If you were to know Mr Anthony’s true name, your mind would collapse upon itself.

A freak accident involving Mr Anthony and a severe thunderstorm turned an ordinary Total Gym (R) into Richard Dean Anderson, star of TV series "MacGyver". Scholars around the world maintain that this is the only known case of irony that is both situational and dramatic.

Contrary to popular belief, Mr Anthony is unable to send his detention slips across the fabric of time, however he IS able to perform this action across parallel dimensions and once, just for fun, slapped a detention on his own face.

Mr Anthony broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the special olympics.

Mr Anthony once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Mr Anthony.

Don't say anything bad about Mr Anthony if you're near a lake, river, pond or marsh; otherwise he will come up out of the water with his AK-47 already firing.

When Neil Armstrong uttered "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." on the moon in 1969, he failed to notice Mr Anthony sitting behind him in a lawnchair, a beer in hand, until Mr Anthony gave Armstrong a swift roundhouse kick to the face. Armstrong never returned.

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