Random
Source Code
Random
Beautiful cottage country in south-central Ontario, Canada. Made 'famous' by such Hollywood stars as Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and Tom Hanks and others.
Once a place of peace and quiet, respectfully tainted with the noise of summer-fun including boating, water skiing, tubing, and just about any other outdoor activity - other than HUNTING!
The original cottages were a place to escape to from the rat-race of the stinky city - mainly the city of Toronto.
Once this land was 'discovered' by certain high-profile people, rich pricks decided it was 'trendy' and 'necessary' to purchase land or a cottage there so as to look upwardly-mobile. This has degraded Muskoka by making it unrealistically expensive for the average layman to purchase; and unmanagable for those who first set their cottage roots there, due to higher taxes and anal newcomers.
Like the white-man raped the Native Americans' lands, so has the yuppie/rich prick raped Muskoka.
New Muskokan cottager:
Franchini: "Are we taking the Bentley and the Bichon to Muskoka this weekend Elsha?"
Elsha: "Well we may need the Bentley because Arthur is flying in from Eton. I think we should have Ramon watch the Bichon as you know Arthur just won't have anything to do with her shedding!"
Franchini: "Fine..fine..fine..Let Ramon watch the bitch and we shall enjoy Cognac with Arthur in Muskoka...I do hope the central air is on when we arrive and that the plumbers have installed the three 'bidets' in the main washrooms."
TRUE Muskokan cottager in the 70s:
Merv: "Did we get the coolers and sleeping bags all packed kids?"
Kids: "Yes daddy, and mommy made us some lunches 'cause we're hungry now and can't wait till we stop for our mid-trip snack. I hope the bunny's are there at the stop. Can we get our allowance now so we can buy some blackballs and bottlecaps daddy?"
Merv: "If you are good. Remember, its a long drive but at least we have this wagon now. Too bad we can't afford a plane to fly up and avoid the traffic." - laughing
Kids: "Yea, but at least we have a boat so we can ski and fish and stuff."
Merv: "That's true kids, good attitude."
73👍 16👎
One who wears stomach bearing t-shirts whilst burning their hair trying to light a bowl.
Jesus Ian, I know it's dark out but I can see some stomach skin in the light coming off your burning hair you fuckin Muskoka.
6👍 15👎
During anal intercourse partner A removes his penis from partner B. Partner A then pours maple syrup on his penis and partner B completes the act by performing oral sex on partner A.
Last night my girl gave me a Muskoka Steamship, she must really love me.
Most executive "summer camp" ever.
it cost me $50,000 to send my kid to Muskoka Woods this summer
29👍 31👎
A comfy cottage chair, often constructed of red cedar. Sometimes incorrectly referred to by the plebeian term "Adirondack chair", as cottages in the Adirondacks were more accessible to the general population.
He stumbled and tripped, landing hard as the Muskoka chair shattered into splinters beneath him.