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neds usually hang around in groups 15-20 and they come from the glasgow area of scotland. they smoke lots and are usually seen drinking either buckfast wine or dragon soop. male neds wear tracksuit bottoms with white socks and a nike or adidas hoodie. female neds,, known as nedettes wear a tracksuit with air force 1’s,, 10 fake gold rings,, giant hoop earrings and very orange fake tan or foundation that makes them look like wotsits. they start to make baby neds from around the age of 10.
common ned names:
male: harry,, aaron,, marco,, charlie,,nathan,, lewis
female: lucy,, amy,, madison,, millie,,chantelle,, derri
please publish this because it’s really funny and true just please xxxxxxx
neds have lots of children from a young age and they are orange
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A Ned is a Non Educated Delinquent. They are usually in groups of about 10-20 and call themselves "Teams, Fleetos and Bundys". They are all weak and only "fight" in groups and by "fight" i mean "slashing or "chibbing" or using any other instrument other than their fists. Dress-sense-wise most have a Berghaus jacket (usually stolen from someone they have attcked) complete witha burberry hat tuned to the moon and bright white socks pulled over joggers covered in "bommers". A "bommer" being a small hole burned from smoking hash in a joint. Female nedettes referred to as Sengas are pretty much the same although they have 5 rings on average on each finger complete with fake gold earrings. They hang around the streets looking for a fight , stealing cars and drinkin cheap booze usually "buckie" or the really poor, "Merrydown" or even a cheap bottle of cider costing about £1.50 a litre. They have poor vocabulary , usually because the dropped out of school at the age of 12. Unemployed little "hairies" their mothers couldn't care less about them as they're usually herion addicts themselves. No life ahead of them except alcholism , abuse and homelessness.
" Wit u fuckin lookin it ya fuckin fanny ? "
"Am gonny chib you ya dafty ! "
" ... Fleeto numba wan , runnin the show ! "
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Non - educated delinquent Scottish Chav. Different accent ... simular clothing and same attitude.
Normal Person: Hello
Ned: AIIiiiiiight
Normal Person: ?
Ned: Aye pure dingy man am no a ned!!
Normal Person: m'kay.
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The epitome of obnoxious youth, to be found hanging around in parks, on street corners and outside the local 'offie' or dealer's house waiting to buy cheap cider, buckie or resin.
Pastimes include beating up strangers, meeting their parole officer and drinking afore-mentioned cider or buckie.
Generally attired in fake burberry cap tilted skywards, trackie bottoms tucked into football socks and a variety of fake gold "sovvies". In the case of the female of the species, this is accessorised by a roll of fat cut in two by a high-rise thong, 17 fake gold hoops in each ear and a screaming, ugly toddler to which she gave birth at the age of 13.
Favourite phrases include 'awrite, ya bam', 'Ah'm gonnae kick yer cunt in' and 'are youse lookin' fur a fight?'
"I was innocently walking down the street when a ned threw an empty buckie bottle at my head."
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A Scottish person who uses slang and vandalises.. Basically a chav but not english.
Girl:Oh my god that Ned just vandalised the park
Random person:Oh dear those neds live in a bad neighbourhood.. nothing new there.
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NED which contrary to popular belief does not come from Non Educated Delinquent but actually stems from the shortening of the common term "ne'er do well" ned means different things to different places. In England it is chav. Even in Scotland varies. Glasgow Neds have knives normally and if you are in an area with Neds roaming about you are pretty much dead. Edinburgh, too refined to have neds supposedly. but they are there. if you look in the right places. Dundee neds are usually annoying and speak in annoying lingo but tend to be around 14 years old with three children. called brogan, dale and chantelle-marie. Funnily enough the alpha male system of the animal kingdom is in reverse in the Ned System as the smallest and most ginger person is usually the leader. whatever he loses in being the smallest person, he gains from being the biggest shit.
MALE ATTIRE - kappa. lots
FEMALE ATTIRE - Anything that hurts the eyes.
you- (minding your own business)
ned- you talkin' about me??? eh? eh? eh? 'mon then? ya poof? eh? eh? eh? you gee'in us cheek? meh brither shot a lassie last week and e'll get yeh. you think em leh-in? then e'll smash yeh.
you - what?
ned - @£$*(*&*()(*&*(*&^*%$£$%^& (ned talk)
(An excerpt I had in an altercation with a ned because i "looked at him like he was a poof", to unnamed ned. if you are a poof, it is a life decision, and i accept that and i am not out to argue with that because i just don't mind. just make sure you tell chantelle-marie or whoever before you leave her for a toyboy so she can deal with the three children. but hey i will be paying for them anyway!)
(i'm not a snob, just can't quite see what i did to provoke him... i'm harmless really)
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the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would shag anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old bump, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3" thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds cock.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is fuck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means
look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a fucked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man
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