Nanyang Technological University

Nanyang Technological University (NTU) is the second oldest university in Singapore and one of the most prestigious universities in Asia and on global metrics. The only thing she's better at than the National University of Singapore (NUS) is her engineering programs and students who aren't peeping toms.

By day, monkeys from the nearby jungle roam the halls stealing shoes and food from homeless undergraduates crying over useless ICC modules and unrelenting exams. By night, you can see students trying to bid for modules on a school website called STARS running on archaic digital infrastructure from a university that calls itself a technological university. Oh, you can also hear students having sex in their rooms.

Friend 1: Happy graduation bro! How was life like studying at Nanyang Technological University?
Friend 2: Thank you, brother. NTU was a very enriching experience and offered me an unparalleled education for my degree. I could have never asked for a better college.
Friend 1: Good to hear. I can't help but notice that you shaved your hair as well?
Friend 2: Oh no, my hair all fell out while trying to bid for classes on STARS.