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The #1 safest place to live in the United States as of June 9, 2007.
As proclaimed by a US crime rate study.
Dude, Newbury Park is fucking awesome!
Where's that?
Southern California!
What's there? What happens there?
Nothing! But it's safe!
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A city full of rich white republicans. The epitome of the California lifestyle. The Parents are all doctors, lawyers and surgeons, and their kids all drive BMW's and Range Rovers. Some kids pretend to be poor and emo, and buy black clothes from Nordstrom, but at the end of the day, they get in their Jaguar, and drive to their mansion in Dos Vientos Ranch.
Look their goes Victoria in the new mercedes her parents bought her for her 16th birthday, damn I wish I lived in Newbury Park.
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There is a place closer than you think.
A place where you might see a black person sometimes.
A place where there's ONE FUCKING MCDONALD'S.
A place where you can't let small animals out at night because they WILL die.
A place where children never get shot, but you kind of want to see them get shot.
A place that sometimes looks like a rancid dump or a rich white Republican man's playground; and never in between.
A place where my school once went on lockdown because there was a stray dog on campus.
A place where sixty degrees Fahrenheit is too cold to go outside.
A place where the criminally insane were released onto the streets one day and now you can't go outside alone past 11 PM.
And that place, is a little town we like to call: Newbury Park.
The other day I saw a seagull kill and begin to eat a rat until a raccoon killed the seagull and ate it.
Newbury Park.
Tommy: My peepee tickles when I look at the other boys on the playground.
Kyle: What are you FUCKING GAY?
You: I want to die.
Welcome to Newbury Park.
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A small town with Ventura 20 miles west and LA 20 miles South. Newbury Park is kinda just here. Nothing goes on, we just chill. Half the kids at the High School are stoned off their asses. No crime, no excitement.
Jimmy: Where did you grow up?
Tom: Newbury Park
Jimmy: Oh where's that?
Tom: Small SoCal town, prey close to Malibu and LA
Jimmy: Oh thats sweet!
Tom: That is where you are wrong kiddo
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A small boring town in Southern California. It has a high school that is full of smart irritating kids of which at least 50% live in dos vientos ( a snobby rich community). Not necessarily the most fun place to live but it is safe.
A: why is there a definition of Newbury Park on Urban Dictionary
B: Its a boring town and people have nothing better to do. Especially if they go to NPHS...homework procrastination.
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A city in which everyone hails Girm the Worm, the ruler of the world. Also, the high school in newbury park usually has stink bombs going off in the cafeteria thanks to SOMEONE.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Newbury Park is quite the city
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It's a small town most people think is privilaged and white but really the teens are all either stoners smoking pot day after day hiding it from there parents thinking there all hard does shrooms and acid every once in a while says things like lit smoked out and fucking coss they through "kick backs" try to rap and dance like freaks to a sad excuse for rap and the ones that don't smoke pot are meth/herion addicts selling drugs and car hoping probabaly making up fake gangs or stealing something of yours while they help you look for it say shit like palobra homie serdio and hang out with 13 year Olds in an rv
Your from newbury park?
Damn straight cups what's good fool
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