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The act of taking a poop in a bathroom so quickly and quietly, that others are lead to think you simply took a leak or were merely washing your hands.
Usually required in bathrooms with thin walls or one room apartments, in which visitors can easily hear the quietest of bathroom activity.
Commonly used tactics that will aid a person while executing a ninja poop:
- Turning on the faucet after taking a seat, to buy extra time at the beginning of your toilet deposit
- Opening and slamming shut cabinet doors and medicine mirrors to cover any butt symphony harmonies
- While you are supposed to be washing hands, use this bonus time to spray a noisy aerosol freshener to mask the smell
- If no aerosol spray, use extra handsoap to soften the pungent smell of your toilet baby's birth
- If no hand soap, just pray to the toilet gods that no one enters that bathroom
- An advanced tactic, is turning on the bathroom fan, if available, upon entering and exiting. It will help muffle sounds and smells during. The act of turning the fan off upon exiting, shows confidence and swagger. People think that a fan was not needed after you used the restroom because you definitely didn't just drop a deuce, but you did.
Girls have long practiced the art of ninja pooping, and can go a lifetime without ever having to admit to going #2
Tom - "Dude I just took the biggest dump ever!"
Dan - "What? You were only gone for like a minute."
Tom - "I know. Ninja poop brah!"
Dan - "Oh, right on!"
*...secret handshake...
Dan - "You didn't wash your hands did you?"
Tom - "No time."
Dan - "Gross."
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-the process in which feces exits the body and travels straight down into the large hole at the base of the toilet bowl as if it were hiding
That endless waterslide reminds me of a ninja poop, the people are diving straight down into the pipe, never to be seen again.
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The art of layering the surface of toilet water with toilet paper to minimize the sound of splashing.
That's the last time I have Taco Bell for lunch at work. Now I'm going to have to do some ninja pooping.
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When someone poops and there is no trace of poop left behind in their ass.
Jeremy after wiping his ass: Woah! There's no trace of shit in there! I just had a wicked ninja poop.
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The act of pooping while having a conversation with someone on the phone
"My poop quickly turned into a ninja poop when my boss called."
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When a person has to go to the bathroom to poop, although does so in such a short span of time that no one has time to notice
"Dude, I was in the middle of a meeting and felt something coming. I slipped out of the room, took a Ninja Poop, and was back before anyone even noticed I left."
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A poop that sneaks up on you when least expected!
Man 1: oh! (runs)
Man 2: Where is he going?
Man 3: Bathroom. That was a ninja poop.
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