Nolan Seligson

A short, large-nosed, Jewish, and well protected creature, Nolan's Seligson's thick skull and even thicker layers of fat around his entire body makes him impervious to insults. This creature simply does not care about anything. Nolan's favorite things to do are drinking and driving, breaking his spine, and making anti-Semitic jokes. It is said Nolan rubbed his two individual brain cells together so quickly that he decided to become a student at Cal Maritime. Whether these rumors are true remain to be seen. The only think that can be known for sure is that the hydro flask that he carries with him which is filled with a clear, water-like liquid, is not water.

Nolan Seligson failed Calculus 2.