don't give me crap

when somebody tells you something you (don't) want to hear

Guy 1: Everybody knows you suck at fighting back
Guy 2: Don't Give Me Crap you duckfuck

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i don't give a crap

To not care

I don't give a crap about you!

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What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap

Used in situations when someone comments on something that you really don't care about.

How to use:
1. Say "what has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap"
2. Point both your thumbs at yourself
3. Say your name followed by "nice to meet you"

"Now when the dark prince finally does call you home, please promise me you'll donate your body to Science and i don't mean medical science but NASA because when those buzzcuts all but given up on trying to figure out what a black hole is and they get one look at that space where your heart is suppose to be, well by golly they are going to say 'oh yeah, thats what it is!'"
"Hey Champ, what has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?"
Thumbs go up
"Bob Kelso, nice to meet you!"

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Take it up with my butt because that's the only one that gives a crap

A phrase you can inject in a conversation after someone begins to complain or go on about something that you are not interested in.

Take it up with my butt because that's the only one that gives a crap.

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Not Give a Crap

1. To not care at all about something; to have no opinion whatsoever about it. Often used dismissively in the negative to tell someone that what they are talking about has no relevance whatsoever to the listener.

2. A humorous way of saying you are constipated, and therefore "can't give a crap."

Boss: Dilbert, that is the dumbest idea you have come up with yet. I reject your proposal.
Dilbert: You never like any of my ideas. One of these days you're going to push me too far, and I'm going to quit.
Boss: Frankly, Dilbert, I do not give a crap.

Doctor: So, Bill, I understand you're constipated?
Bill: Yep, doc, I can't seem to pass those poops because they're just too big. I don't give a crap.