Office Poodle

Office Poodle (noun): A type of worker in an office setting that will be the bane of your existence. Overacheiver, brown-noser, quick to run to management to report issues with everyone at the drop of a hat. An office poodle is the type of person who organizes ALL the office social functions including but not limited to: birthday celebrations, baby showers, engagement announcements, retirement toasts, and will be that person to insist everyone contributes monetarily. They will also be the person to coordinate holiday gifts to the boss, and insist everyone chip in $40 instead of $10. An office poodle may or may not know every single detail of your personal life, but they’d be the type to report you for wearing Crocs under your desk. They also would be the type to look over your shoulder while you’re scrolling Pinterest, later to put out an all staff email about “Personal device use on company time”. An office poodle will be the type to freak out over small changes that derail their routine. Imagine them pacing around in circles, wetting the floor in moments of crisis. These are the kinds of people who always look to make themselves look good to the company, but aren’t terribly concerned if it makes you look like a slacker in the process.

I rolled into work 6 minutes late with my iced coffee and the office poodle made sure to bring it up at our staff meeting that morning.

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