Old Glass Table

What you need to do is squash you genitals underneath you while you are sitting on a glass table and take a photo from below.

If you are in a customer service role, you can give it/send it to customers who are unbelievably stupid or rude as a way of letting them know how little you care about their issues.

A: "This guy says there is a blackout in his area and wants to know why his Internet isn’t working."
B: "Send him the Old Glass Table and tell him to wait 30 minutes before his Internet will come back on."

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