Opossum Pole

A long stick, pole, nightstick, paint roller extension pole or any other long, slender object that you or your dad uses to fend off any backyard bullies that happen to stroll into your yard.

The names comes from the shithead mutant known as the opossum that often invades your backyard and hisses like a foreign commando, only to be scared away when you come charging after it with your God gifted opossum pole.

I heard some rustling in my backyard at 2 am, so I grabbed my trusty opossum pole from my kitchen and started chasing whatever bullshit was making all the noise.

My animal loving brother was being an asshole and letting raccoons come into the yard again, so one night I grabbed my monogrammed wooden club and started going ham on these striped dickheads.