Orange Whale Owner

The one person on Earth that can make 99% of what comes out of his mouth a "cool story bro" story. Also has the capabilities of a chem god, but is too bogged down with stories that are deemed "cool stories," that his potential is flustered and dormant.

Orange Whale Owner: "I love wikipedia because I love telling cool stories bro. I love telling cool stories because I love wikipedia. Greatest revelation of my life."

Friend: "Cool story bro"