PTS ( Pistachio Thumb Syndrome )

A non-life-threatening, but common and annoying syndrome brought on by frequent use of thumb nails to crack open pistachios; Symptoms include but are not limited to, aching of the thumbs; fissures or punctures found on the thumbs; thumb nails cracked, broken and ALWAYS much shorter than other finger nails. The only cures developed are cursing like a sailor in short bursts, shelled pistachios, the use of implanted squirrel teeth, or completely discontinuing the fabulous, salty roasted nut, however, most serious pistachio consumers would rather live with the syndrome.

Bitch be needing a mani...PTS ( Pistachio Thumb Syndrome ) in full effect...