Phonetic Temperature Theory

the Phonetic Temperature Theory is a theory that states that as average temperature of a native speaker's location decreases over a long span of time, the verb-consonant ratio of the native speaker's words decreases, and that speech quickens and hardens in colder temperature. Secondly, This theory also states the vice versa; as average temperature of a native speaker's location increases over a long span of time, the verb-consonant ratio of the native speaker's words increases, and that speech slows and smooth-ens in warmer temperature. Thirdly, this theory also states that pronunciation changes quicker when the average temperature of a native speaker's location changes quicker, and that pronunciation changes slower when the average temperature of a native speaker's location changes slower.

Person 1: How can I predict when the pronunciation of a word will change?
Person 2: with Phonetic Temperature Theory, we can do this by 1. knowing how long the current pronunciation has existed for, 2. knowing the differences in local average temperature at the beginning of pronunciation usage to now, 3. knowing previous pronunciation of the preceding form of the word, and using IPA slope to predict future pronunciation and use multiplication (local average temperature now - local average temperature at the beginning of pronunciation usage)/(time between beginning of pronunciation usage and now), if the value is positive (meaning the local temperature got warmer) then shift clockwise on the IPA chart (k -> g), this is the reasoning for why Latin "catta" became "gato" because the Spanish/Portuguese climates are slightly warmer than the Ancient Roman climate.