Planet Killer

Huge SUVs, especially low gas-mileage American SUVs used by Yuppies. The Planet Killer is primarily a commuter vehicle, and is used infrequently to transport offspring to soccer games and ballet practice. Planet Killers have 70 MPH speedometer governors which can only be bypassed by cell phone use. The 4-wheel drive option of the SUV is a sort of vermiform appendix- scientists agree it once had a purpose, but can only speculate as to what it was.

"I sometimes wonder what future historians might say of the Planet Killer SUVs of the 21st Century? Will they say that SUVs were the palanquins of plutocrats borne upon the shoulders of Self-indulgence, Intransigence, Solipsism, and a Wheezing Planet?" Dagrolord, 2006

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