Platerror-Chewma

Platerror-Chewma (noun):

A rare, highly disturbing psychological condition characterized by vivid, intrusive flashbacks of witnessing an explicit act involving parental figures atop a dining table, immediately before a meal. Symptoms include a lifelong aversion to mealtime settings, uncontrollable gag reflexes triggered by tableware, and a paradoxical compulsion to overanalyze family dynamics.

Treatment for Platerror-Chewma typically involves intensive therapy, avoidance of communal dining, and, in severe cases, opting for standing meals at countertops instead of tables. This condition often leads to the patient coining inappropriate terms during social events, much to the discomfort of others. As well as making up their own definitions on the spot. It’s irreversible and has no treatment to even slow the process.

“My therapist says my Platerror-Chewma stems from ‘that night,’ but honestly, I think it’s because Dad winked at me mid-thrust while knocking over the gravy boat.”