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Corporate Jargon for What The Fuck.
Dear jim,
I have not yet received the Alabama case files I asked you to Send.
Please Advise.
John
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An extremely stuffy phrase used by business executives to close emails when they don't understand how to ask a real question. It basically means "Please use your imagination to figure out what the fuck I need to know to make a decision on this item without making me look like an idiot in front of all the people I CCed"
"Please Advise" is typically used in place of "Thanks" in formatting an email. It is very passive aggressive. Always assume that the user of the phrase "please advise" is a college graduate that follows the advice of his professors to a T... Even 15 years later..
Dear Luke,
I recently got a call from Alex in LA telling me that we're out of blinkity blank in California so the blippity blue isn't working. What-the-fuck what-the-fuck we're losing 15k a day what-the-fuck save me please.
Please Advise,
John
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The proverbial business bitchslap.
Hi Carrie,
How are you? Happy Monday! I was wondering when you were going to get me that quote I asked for last week. If we don't get the ball rolling ASAP my client will look for another company.
Please advise.
All the best,
Christine.
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A term often used by the less educated when complaining in order to add emphasis and terror to a normally minor issue. Typically used to boost the complainants self esteem for their lack of education when it comes to reading and writing.
“Hi I ordered 2 ov these and onli got 1 I not happy please advise
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A meaningless phrase that prefaces relevant information. It is basically unnecessary if not redundant, as one is engaged in the very act of “advising” when issuing a warning, imparting knowledge, or giving advice. “Please be advised” is used excessively by people in law enforcement and sometimes by those who became serious about life at a very late age, and now maintain blogs that purport to warn the public about what is largely one-sided, uninteresting crap.
Ryan: Officer Murphy, please be advised that our suspect is driving a Jeep.
Murphy: Ryan, the fact that you’re advising me is understood in the information you have just given to me. Saying “please be advised” is an unnecessary redundancy that pollutes our radio communication.
Ryan: Ten-four.
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Essentially meaning: "I am an asshole." The beginning words from someone or something that is about to reject, worry or disappoint you.
Please be advised that our policy does not allow us to accept your complaint.
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