Pond Dick

The only STD not caused by sexual intercourse with another human, Pond Dick occurs when one swims in a dirty pond covered with green, toxic algae. Parasites dwelling beneath the algae cluster around a male's penis when that male jumps into said pond. Upon exiting the pond, the parasites burrow into the penis, leaving a bumpy rash known as Pond Dick. This condition cannot be treated and is generally more feared than the HIV virus.

Brian: I'm not running tomorrow, because I want to go swimming in the pond.
Steve: Aren't you worried you might get Pond Dick?
Brian: You're right. I'll come to practice. The pond has too much green slime. I definitely do not want to obtain Pond Dick.

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