Poo Tactics

To implement a tactical poo so that people in the vicinity of the toilet are unaware you are doing a dirty horrible shit.

- Implemented primarily in restrooms and in toilets of new acquaintances.

1. To cough loudly when the turd makes impact with the water in the toilet to disguise velocity, size and the sound of the crap.

2. To use air freshner post-turd.

3. To use the bathroom when minimal people are in the vicinity of the toilet.

4. To flush the turd and clean the toilet with the accompanying brush in the very same flush as to avoid the double flush rule. Failing this will gross people out--indefinately.

Dude, I don't know these people well enough to shit in their home. I need to implement some 'Poo tactics'.

tactical poo

A tactical poo (abbreviated to TP) likens a tactical chunder as a waste disposal system.

Normally referred to as a TP in public

A TP allows one to dispose of unwanted lunch, breakfast, dinner or snacks, allowing for more room to be made and therefore more food can be consumed.

Emile: "WOW that roast dinner filled me up so much!!!"
Helen: "yeah, now we won't have room for pudding!"
Emile: "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Both: "time for a TP"

"I'm so glad I had that tactical poo, now I have room for desert!"

Tactical poo

Tactical poo-

Is taken when one has a urge but not urgent one to shit, but due to work, commitments or anything that comes in the future minutes to hours to interfere with this sacred time: one then go’s to do a tactical shit.

Kenny “fuckk I kinda gotta shit but it’s not cooked and ready..”

Sussie “..we are paramedics Kenny, do a tactical poo now, in case we have a job come up..”