portland throwdown

A challenge to fight where the increasing severity of the challenger's verbal threats are directly proportional to the increasing distance from their opponent. This type of challenge is typical of the passive-aggressive culture in Portland, Oregon, where a real fight is less likely to break out compared to other, harder cities in the United States.

Bouncer: "Sorry , you can't come in tonight, you've had too much to drink."
Drunk (face to face): "C'mon , my friends are in there/I'm not that drunk/it's my birthday/I come here all the time!"
Bouncer: Sorry, you're welcome to come back tomorrow, but not tonight."
Drunk (5ft. away): "This place sucks anyway."
Bouncer: ...
Drunk (10ft. away): "Man, you a bitch!"
Bouncer: "Ok, have a good night, get home safe."
Drunk (15ft. away) "I'll beat your ass, bitch!"
Bouncer: "Just go home dude..."
Drunk (Halfway down the block) "Try me motherfucker! I'll kick your faggot ass!"
Bouncer: "Ok, now you're 86'ed.."
Drunk (One block away, shirtless and flexing) "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!"
Bouncer: "...he's literally now one city block away from me."
Passer-by from out of town: "Wow, that was the most Portland-y attempt to throw down I've ever seen."
Bouncer: "Yup, that's exactly how a Portland Throwdown works. See? Now he's almost two blocks away and yelling louder. If we were in Boston he would have just decked me."

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