past present tense

The proper form of a verb that is both in the past and present.
Though largely unknown, this tense is good english, as recognized
by the ISO (International Standards Organization)

1. The morbidly obese man "plupped" onto the couch, seductively "slupping" from his Big Gulp cup.

2. The adolescent boy metaphorically "jerzzed" at the thought of the next Star Wars film.

All completely legal usage of past present tense.

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Present perfect tense

Your birthday.
Perfect time for a presents.

- Your present perfect tense is in a week, would you like some beer and whores?

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present tense

A tense expressing an action that is currently going on, or a state that currently or generally exists.

The present tense is a verb tense used to describe a current activity or state of being. However, the present tense can also be used to describe past and future activities. For example: I swim in the sea every Saturday. (This is a current activity.)