Random
Source Code
Random
Progress isn't removing anything that offends a group, such as Confederate flags or statues. Progress is when their presence, or the presence of a statue or flag of an otherwise opposing group (such as Martin Luther King) no longer trigger violence. Until then, no progress has been made, people are only pretending their hatred disappeared by erasing their past or covering it up, pretending that it doesn't exist along with any and all negative feelings (rather than expressing them fully).
Never trust someone that pretends they have no negative feelings, or that erasing all external signs of them is progress, since these are the biggest cynics you will ever meet. Not everybody has to pretend to be an optimist all the time about everything, since there is reason not to be sometimes.
47👍 1👎
A process that miraculously produces a product that appears well done to a fractional minority of people.
"Microsoft really made progress with Office 2007!"
34👍 27👎
(n.) The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.
"I CAN'T FIND THE 'ANY' KEY ON MY F@$#ING KEYBOARD! FIX IT!!" (Screaming cowboy)
"Honey, I found that diskette with important contracts on it. Left it on the fridge's door with a magnet on it."
"J00 1Z G01N D0WN N00B!!!!!11"
All the above were examples of this kind of progress.
20👍 40👎
The Progressives, also called cuckolds, soy boys or groomers, are a wild species discovered in Germany in the 1840s. The species is currently most prevalent in the United States, Canada and parts of Asia, having major packs known as China, North Korea and Cuba. Progressives are somewhat related to the human species.
—History—
The first Progressives were discovered in Germany in 1848, and were known as Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. In the early 1900s, Progressives spread across northern Asia and Eastern Europe, in a pack called the Soviet Union. This was one of the biggest Progressive packs recorded to date. The pack took over many Eastern European and Central Asian nations.
—Behaviour—
Progressives behave quiet oddly, as they attempt to blend in with humans, get easily offended and love to complain, even in positions of power. The species hold belief that females should dominate the world and that all males should be killed. This has been linked to the species’ love for extremism and ideological colonisation.
While not fully dangerous to adults or teenagers, Progressives may cause mental harm to children. A Progressive will attack it’s prey from a young age, feeding it misinformation about the human body and sex, until it’s prey is old enough to be fully consumed into the Progressive species.
Human: Ayo, what the fuck are you wearing? 🤭
Progressive: Umm, I’m expressing myself! 😠
Human: If that’s expressing yourself , then please stop. Look in a mirror. 🤣
Progressive: I don’t care what you think! Besides, why are you so upset over what I’m wearing?! 😡
Human: Damn Progressives 🤣
Later that day…
Progressive: Did -they- really mean that? Why does everyone hate me? 😭
116👍 13👎
The pervasive and all consuming fear, that someone, somewhere, may be doing something without your permission; and the obsessive compulsive desire to control all things that goes with it.
Our mayor is so progressive, he banned sodas larger than 3 millilitres.
A customer came in and asked to see the manager before they even ordered; Karens are so progressive!
75👍 15👎
The difference between liberals and progressives is the difference between thought and action.
Aware, consienctous, flexible, realistic;
Promoters of Harm Reduction.
Journalist: Are you liberal or progressive?
Paper Pusher: Liberal. Isn't Progressive an Era?
Journalist: Are you liberal or progressive?
Outreach Worker:What do you think?
2006👍 606👎
A political platform defined usually by, but not limited to, the developmental advancement of American society through pragmatic and practical means. Contrary to right wing beliefs, Progressives are not the second coming of communism and the russians, instead they seek to improve the lifestyles of the vast majority of Americans by providing tax funded benefits that would help the country grow as a whole.
Neo Con: "Those damn progressives are trying to finish what stalin started! My sign SAYS SO!"
Spectator: "You do realize you're holding that thing upside down right?"
1943👍 671👎