Prosecco Mum

Usually found in groups, often from council estates, often wearing garments featuring fake Swarovski’s, Ugg boots, long straight hair extensions with a bad ombré job. Walls at home emblazoned with vinyl decals with ‘Love Laugh Live’ or similar. Describe themselves as ‘full time mummy’ on Facebook. They get pissed on prosecco before going out leaving the kids to make their own spaghetti hoops for tea. Then writing statuses like ‘my kids are my world’ while snorting coke in the toilets at Revolution. They have ‘the girls’ round for a few quiet drinks on a Tuesday night, and the police get called by neighbours at around 3am. They will need handbag sized bottles of Prosecco the next day to do the school run. Some role models of the Prosecco Mum include: Katie Price, Kim Kardashian and anyone from TOWIE. A group of Prosecco Mums is known as a ‘Murder’ of Prosecco Mums. If no Prosecco is obtainable a ‘PM’ may resort to putting petrol in the Soda Stream. Favourite phrases include: U ok Hun? and I’m fumming babes. The Prosecco Mum often is to be found with a Stella Dad. A popular career for a PM would be a Juice Plus Rep, this gives them time for childcare. Childcare in this case is allowing their offspring to run riot in public places while they take dog ear selfies on their phones.

“Did you see that girl on Jeremy Kyle? She was a proper Prosecco Mum”