Pseudo-Washer

A person who just moistens hands after bathroom use. Soap is not used, and a shake of the hands is usually an attempt at drying them.

The 'Pseudo-Washer' usually does it for show, as not washing at all would affect their image.

Guy #1: "Hey, you didn't wash your hands. You barely got em' wet!"

Guy #2: "So? I'm a Pseudo-Washer! You mad bro?"