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Moonshine from Dargaville. Dargaville where most of New zealands Kumara or sweet potatoes are grown. The locals make the best moonshine out of these purple turd looking things.
Purple Monkey Finger will kick your ass, a lot.
No officer i only had one Purple Monkey Finger, what do you mean i cant drive.
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So apparently the story is, the Kumara that go in to Purple Monkey Finger are grown on land that was the cemetery of the local prison for the criminally insane.
The gardens were looked after by crazy old nuns, all of them were blind except for the mother superior who was mute.
She was mute until one of the prisoners made moonshine out of the Kumara, in her room alone one night, she had a drink, and she started screaming and didn't stop until she died.
They say that even now, if you open a bottle of Purple Monkey Finger alone, in the dark, in a very quiet room, you can hear the old mute nun scream.
Patient: But Doctor, I'm a virgin, how could I be pregnant?
Doctor: I have reason to believe you have recently had some Purple Monkey Finger in you.
Patient: SHITBALLS!
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