A "Real Author" is someone who has at least 500 people show up for book signings. It has nothing to do with being an international best seller or owning your own mountain purchased through your book sales. It only has to do with how many people show up to get you to sign their books.
"So, how many people are out there?"
"There's about 200 in line!"
<sigh>"Still not a Real Author"
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