Reed Bassler

Super short, really gay when he plays volleyball, but the shmexiest man alive. Reed is scared of women, they absolutely terrify him, and has the most gyatt-tastic mother alive. He is a super sigma basketball player, never lost a game in his life. Finally, he has the most beautiful earlobes in existence.

“Wow, look at that cool guy over there. He must be a Reed Bassler”
“Man I hate that guy playing volleyball over there, he always does a little set instead of a spike when I go up for a block. Stupid Reed Bassler.”