ripe division

The Ripe Division is a local militia in Brazil that aggressively protects the dwindling banana population. Any acts of aggression towards their ripeness will result in a banana being torpedoed into one's nuggetmaker until it becomes ripe, then they will pull it out then stuff the unpeeled, ripe banana back in, then fuck you until it's puréd.

-Hey, Brad, Im going to the market. Want some bananas?
-No thanks. Last time I tried to get a banana, the Ripe Division gave me one...and now Im haunted for life.