Sad Spank; The act of preforming self-materbation whilst crying, and utilizing the shed tears as a form of lubrication.
Todd~ " Has anybody seen Adam in the past hour?"
Kevin~ " Yeah, I saw him go off to his truck a few minutes ago, must be having a rough day."
Todd~ " Oh, gotchya. He should just rip off a few sad spanks and he will be fine."