santa clarita valley

the butthole of the earth, entirely overpopulated and overdeveloped land which was once actually quite beautiful. to date, it is populated with overprivileged and undereducated youth, often accompanied by sad plastic guardians. overridden with police attempting to keep the real scv lifestyle hush hush. contrary to the popular belief of its conservative elder residents, it is very easy to get almost any drug in the santa clarita valley. most youth here become quickly caught in the downward spiral of having entirely too much spare time and cash, and find themselves addicted to meth and sucking it off the back of a toilet through a bendy straw at the hilton or castaic inn. this is regardless of how privileged and sheltered they may have seamed. most people inhabiting this land will die here, only to be buried on its outskirts by the highway leading to the outside world. this custom is believed to be somehow symbolic. also, traditionally, those who escape before their deaths do not return.

kid1: i live in the santa clarita valley.
kid2: is your dad a cop? can i borrow your ferrari? hey lets start a punk band!

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