Scandinavian Spritzer

As itinerant Scandinavians began to settle in the Pacific Northwest during the early 1900's, they often gathered into communities to retain their traditions and practices. One such practice, known as the Scandinavian Spritzer, continues to withstand the test of time as long-standing tradition for thanking your neighbors. When introduced to the Pacific Northwest it endeared the Scandinavian immigrants to the locals almost immediately.

Whenever a helpful neighbor (or group of helpful neighbors) would help out an elderly widowed woman in the village, she would repay them with the Spritzer. After first offering a plate of decoy cookies to lower their guard, the elderly woman would raise her skirt, pinch her labia together, and force her urine out. The pinched labia would redirect her urine back across her perineum, where it gathered additional musk and essence, before spraying outward from betwixt her tightly clenched buttocks. The resulting spray would be finely atomized and highly aromatic. This was a coveted reward, and as such created an atmosphere of willing and able neighbors.

Gigi Ulla Gave Mitchell and Julian a dank Scandinavian Spritzer after distracting them with a plate of warm cookies. They knew it was worth changing those smoke detector batteries!