Service the Account

A euphemism for masturbating, especially at work.

Hey Chris, it's a slow day here at work. I need to find something to concentrate my efforts on. Maybe it's a good day to service the account!

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servicing the account

v. Also, service the account, the account is being serviced.

A George Carlin term for the act of a salesperson screwing over their customer through deceit. This is catagorized by the large bullshit smile, and customer assuming the position.

"Excuse me, I'm clueless about buying absolutely anything."
"I'll just go ahead and service the account for you then."

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service her account

provide sex to an uninteresting partner

"Yeah I may have to service her account just to get her to leave."

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non-service account

an account that is specifically used NOT to run services.

the accounts team like to make use of non-service accounts