Seven mile itch

Itchy anus which occurs when you’re at least seven miles walk away from a toilet. Usually due to being one wipe short of a clean bum.

I had dump just before the half marathon started. The bog roll was like tracing paper! I got halfway round and got the seven mile itch! I spent the last 6 miles scratching my ring piece and the next 6 hours with my Harris in a bowl of warm water!