Shit Mister

A person who secretly sprays a light mist of diluted liquid shit on surfaces where human contact is inevitable, such as doorknobs, water tank levers, someone's keyboard or mouse, the car door handle, the faucet in a bathroom...

Shit mist recipe:
* 10 parts water (distilled, if possible, but toilet water will work)
* 1 part fresh (and very soft) human feces (there's something more satisfying when you know it is your own)
* 1 small, concealable spray device (a perfume atomizer is very handy)

Combined and shake well...you are now a shit mister (well, once you take your first squirt)

Late last night, I sprayed the doorknobs at work, and became, a Shit Mister.

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