Shit hammock

The act of pooing, but instead of plopping into a toilet it gets cradled in your ass hair and just hangs there like a bat in the cave.

"dude What the fuck is that smell"
"oh bro, i got shit hammock'd today its just tragic."

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Shit hammock

When you shit your pants while wearing a thong hoping it won’t fall over the sides.

Friend: I’m going to shit myself!

Me: Gross it will all be in your pants!
Friend: It’s okay my shit hammock will catch it.

shit hammock

Its when you build a hammock out of toilet paper in the middle of the toilet bowl to reduce or prevent your poop from plopping loudly into the water.

I had to poo real bad but there was someone else in the restroom so I had to make a shit hammock.

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shit hammock

shitting on a piece of saran wrap and hanging it across an empty doorway for someone unsuspecting to walk into.

David walked straight into my shit hammock

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Shit Hammock

A hammock that you build out of toilet paper draped over the bowl to catch the shit to avoid the plopping noises. Post shit, the hammock is gently lowered into the bowl.

There were a few people in the bathroom today so I had to build a shit hammock to avoid the plop plop.