Shrink flood

(For men) When you sit down to take a shit when you're cold - when your flaccid penis has shrunk to where it no longer hangs down like normal - and the defecation triggers urination which is released in a horizontal, outward stream that goes all over your floor.

Man, I just cleaned my bathroom, and then I had to go take a shit after my heat went out. I should have waited to drink that kombucha, because I had a shrink flood...