Silver Sneaker

When an old person breaks wind and doesn’t ask to be excused. Most of the time it’s because they just flat-out don’t care about anything anymore. These people are clinging onto their golden years dreaming about the dawn of flying cars. Instead, they were blessed with Nickelback and the Tide-Pod Challenges.

I rode the elevator with grandpa and his silver sneakers. I thought I was going to die.

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