Slap boxing the one-eyed champ

Masturbating
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
Taking matters into your own hands
Holding your sausage hostage
Squeezing the cream from the flesh twinkie
Having a date with Pam and her five friends
Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops
"the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger."

"Tired of boxing about his girlfriends, and ending up in jail, Mike Tyson started slap bozing the one-eyed champ instead."

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