sloth man

A Sloth Man is a sufferer of slothitis, an inherited disease, typically a Sloth Man struggles to finish a meal before it is cold, make it to anywhere on time, get out of bed, stay awake or move. Their minds are too diseased with slowness to grasp irony or sarcasm and they argue using long drawn out 'no no no's.

Slothitis is temporarily contagious; the monotonous rant of a slothitis sufferer will often force the listener to adopt the symptoms of a sloth man e.g. drowsiness and lethargy however once out of contact with a slothitis sufferer a healthy human's immune system will repel the slothitis - the diseased cells are two slow to cause long term effect.

Slothitis is a degenerative disease and the sloth man will slowly develop a likeness to John Squires of the Stone Roses, their voice will heavily deepen and their deep monotonous speech will enable them to communicate with whales. Generally a slothitis sufferer from birth will die before reaching the age of thirty as they can no longer feed themselves however the disease can lie dorment and effect people at later ages.

Normal Person: 'Your two hours late'
Davey (slothitis carrier): 'I was eating my dinner and had to straighten my hair'
Normal Person: 'I hate you Sloth Man'
Davey (slothitis carrier): 'No no no'
Whale: 'Hellooooooo Davey'

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Man-sloth

A term used for a strange phenomenon where man likes to climb trees, eat tree limbs, and shove bananas down his sleeves to appear as though he has claws for hands...may also involve sound effects like that of a cat being crushed by a steamroller.

Kris: Did you see Jeremy the other day?
Justin: Yeah what was up with the sound effects and why did he shove bananas down his sleeves?
Kris: I don't know but that guy is such a Man-sloth he deserves to be in a zoo