Slow State

A “Slow State” is a State that has not progressed as quickly as the majority of the other 50 States in the US. Slow States normally share borders with other Slow States, and are rarely intellectually-land-locked by their more evolved peers.

The following are typical qualities of a Slow State:
1) An overabundance of churches
2) Historically low SAT scores
3) Residents that defend their right to display objectionable material because it’s their “heritage”
4) A politically-conservative leaning majority
5) Homophobic legislation
6) Seceded, or have/had thoughts of secession

If you're a bright gay/lesbian liberal non-Christian minority, it is advisable to spend as little time as possible in a Slow State.

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