Smithfield Shim

Fictional device used to reduce the diameter of an extremely large vagina. It involves inserting a complete Smithfield whole cured ham into the cavernous canal, then pulling out the bone, leaving a smaller hole for one to fornicate with and reducing the “hot dog in the hallway” effect.

“Jenny said she’s gonna let me hit it at the party tonight!”

“Bro, errybody been hitting that. In fact she just left Bill’s house and he’s hung like a goddamned horse. You’re gonna need to bring a Smithfield Shim or you’re going to hear your own echo in that pussy.”