Snark Chariot

n. an ill-tempered man-beast whose body consists not of meat, bones, and skin, but rather 185 lbs. of well-defined, fully ambulatory fat. Biting sarcasm is his paint, the keyboard is his brush, and the seedy underbelly of the Internet is his canvas. Known to have an unwieldy head of hair, poor eyesight, and hostility toward ampersands.

"I served with Snark Chariot. I knew Snark Chariot. Snark Chariot was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Snark Chariot."