Soul-Nate-O

A swirling, chaotic force of unwanted, and ultimately useless, fact and/or opinion that has been known to actually suck surrounding souls into its tempest of painfully bland conversation. These catastrophic events have been primarily confined to the Midwestern United States, and are especially frequent in Columbia, Missouri, which has been tragically hit several times in recent years. Attempts to ignore, avoid, or overlook this cyclone of fruitless monologue have failed miserably as it appears that there is no way to escape this hellish small talk.

Friend: Dude, you look like you just saw a ghost. You're pale as hell and your eyes are bloodshot. What the hell happened?

Victim: ...Joe Strummer...Natalie Portman...A New Hope...Dr. Octopus...Hippo Attacks...World's Deadliest Alligator...Mating Habits of Orangoutangs...Tan Colored Clothing..............

Friend: Oh, shit...Your soul has been captured. You were hit by a Soul-Nate-O weren't you? Cruel villainy!!!