split my eggs

when you fail at something very hard and you can't do anything about it and you feel like ending it all

Guy #1: yo, you got that coffee we ordered man?
Guy #2: yea its right here *DROPS COFFEE* Oh Darn it
Guy #1: you really split the eggs this time, man
Guy #2 yea I guess I split my eggs

Splitting an Egg

When you’re so obsessed about splitting costs equally that you would even insist on getting half of an egg.

Person 1: You owe me 20p from that coffee the other day
Person 2: Mate. You’re splitting an egg right now.