Splonald Squanson

Splonald Squanson is a man who walks through life not knowing where he may rest his head. But as long as he has his mixture of illicit drugs, he will be ok.

This man also may smell of carrots, and will have a creamy demeanor about him. You've been warned.

Member of the Dean Koontz family tree.

"You're a real Splonald Squanson."

"Guzuntite."