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1. Located at 43.10N latitude and 79.15W longitude, one of the many urban centres in Southern Ontario, with beautiful residential neighbourhoods, a great shopping mall, and only a long tunnel away from Niagara Falls, where you can drop the kids off in the whale tank in Marineland and let the nice whales babysit them on their noses for the rest of the day, while you spend a spectacular night of sophisticated adult tourism shopping, riding the Maid of the Mist and the jetboats, hiking around the river gorge, or just standing and admiring Niagara Falls while taking in the friendly, carefree atmosphere of the city, and the stifling 90% humidity, which usually makes the temperature feel like 45 deg C.
2. A great place for kids to hunt snails all the day under the porch while the adults socialize in the pool, go to Chinese restaurants, one of the many immaculate coffee and donut shops, or cross-border shopping in New York. Also a place where you can easily become a rich, retired woman's considerably younger boytoy.
Person 1: Hey, you wanna go on a road trip to St. Catharines?
Person 2: Okay, we'll go shopping, stay in a nice hotel, find some MILFs and have a beach party.
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When a taxi driver waits in the parking lot of a strip joint waiting for the drunk and high strippers to finish their shift. Upon exiting, the dancers are then offered a ride home in exchange for a hummer. (Common occurence in St.Catharines, a small town close to Niagara Falls Canada).
AKA: Cherry Picking, Shooting Fish in a Barrel
Dispatch: Jeff, we have a fair at the sixteen block of Grantham Plaza, over.
Jeff: Fuck off Doug! Im on a St. Catharines Stakeout right now.
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From elderly people who were here before the industrial revolution and think they're better than you to elderly call girls and the occasional junkie spinning on the sidewalk. Not a bad place to live but trying to find a job is like child pageantry. There are homeless people sleeping in places they really shouldn't. But still you'll see cars nicer than the one girl from high school who was friends with the football team. Theres plenty of places to shop but never enough parking, but who needs parking when driving in the city is confusing and the drivers here seem like they've been confused since they spoke out loud to read the dashboard to find the PRNDL.
Things you will see in public will elude your ability to describe them accurately. The perfect place to document cryptids.
I'm glad I moved to St. Catharines!