stealth retirement

The increasingly common phenomenon of quietly and suddenly retiring in the midst of workplace chaos to avoid the dangers of the Covid Pandemic.

Well my man, the only truly intelligent option as I see it is stealth retirement!

Stealth Retirement

A stealth retirement is when you are currently working but have plans to retire or just retired. Although you still work, you operate as if you are retired. You are planning your last steps such as selling company stocks, looking for private equity liquidity, planning income needs, or have fuck you money and work for fun.

This may be done to hide from your wife and kids, or — as part of a marketing strategy — to manage your public image around friends and neighbors. The phenomenon is well known in Los Angeles because the weather is good. Normally a person would only operate in stealth retirement mode for the first couple of years. As coworkers get curious why you go on such long vacations of weeks at a time. And, neighbors get curious why your lawn is perfectly maintained and green all year round, no weeds.

"Most stealth retirees say they are in stealth retirement because they are bored. This can be a risk if the wife and kids find out because you can easily become the family bus driver."

Where's Jeff at, I thought he was coming into to work this week? I guess he's in stealth retirement, maybe he'll be back next week or so.