Suburb Ebonics

Not quite the same as wigger-speak, Suburb Ebonics is a form of language used by middle class white kids who secretly wish that they were black but won't admit it to anyone.

Commonly, the white males get together on the weekend and binge drink (often a college activity) and mystically start "talking like black people" after they've had 10 drinks. Of course, the style of speech in no way reflects the way that black people actually talk, but at least they're trying.

The hilarious thing about these homos is that they would never in a million years talk that way around another black dude. It's like a strange style of speech that is preserved entirely for the whitey club. It makes them feel like they have a cause in life - like they were oppressed and have to be gangstas to rebel against the man. Unfortunately for them, their Dads bought them their cars and the worst thing that ever happened to them is getting busted smoking crappy weed in the basement.

The tragic thing about these pathetic white kids is that they are secretly cowards who run away from fights, can't hold their liquor, are literally frightened by black people and the worst thing they've ever done is break a window. Suburb Ebonics is like a cover for "HUGE GIANT PUSSY."

The Tragic End of Suburb Ebonics at Lonnie's House:

Lonnie: sup Beaker? Man, I fucked that guy up in that fight last night. Muthuh fuckuh. He was all like "whaaaa, I'm a loser." Then I smacked that bitch UP!

Beaker: Yeah L-dog. S'right. You messed that muthuh fucuh UP right on him an shit. That's some fucking wick-ass shit.

Lonnie: A'ight

Beaker: Ok, dude...I can't do this anymore. We didn't get in a fight. We sat here and talked like retards for three hours last night. I gotta go. My Dad said not to stay out too late. We've been doing the same thing every weekend for 6 years!

Lonnie: But...but...dude? What's wrong here?

Beaker: Nothing. I have to go. Sorry dude. This is just way too gay. See ya.

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